My Guest Post Confessional

 

Today, I make a confession.

 

But it’s not on this site. It’s through a guest post for my friend Steve Wiens. His blog is wonderful. Even the name, “Actual Pastor: living my life as is instead of as if,” breathes words of grace. Awhile back, he had a post about being the parent of young kids that sent the Internet into a tizzy of shares and likes because the words were so needed. Seriously, if you haven’t read it, and you are a parent, do so now.

 

Anyway, I open up a bit today, admitting some “as is” stuff about myself. Here’s a tidbit:

human beings not human doings

I am addicted to achievement.

It started when I was a high school student. I worked hard and got straight A’s. When that happened, I felt good about myself. Really good. There was something thrilling about knowing I did my best. And getting a score from someone else that proved I was succeeding? Well, that was like a drug.

I brought the addiction with me to college, where my first major was biomedical engineering. Somewhere inside I think I figured the harder the major, the harder the job, and the better the fix I would find for my craving.

But then, as God took hold of my life, I switched from engineering to social work, and then, after some turns of events, wound up in ministry.

I thought when I switched directions, I left my addiction behind.

I didn’t.

 

Read the rest here.

 

 

Create In Me

Psalm 51-10

I sat quietly, like good little girls do, keeping myself entertained by studying my mother’s fingernails.

 

That’s what I remember most about church growing up: sitting on the wooden pew next to my mom, stroking the smooth pink that adorned the ends of her hands, and dreaming of the day I would have nails like hers.

 

Sometimes my thoughts drifted towards God. But mostly, the service seemed to be for adults, and my mind stayed consumed with my own daydreams.

 

It was the music that would snap me out of my distraction.

 

First the pipe organ filled the sanctuary with deep and layered sounds, and then congregation swelled in with their harmonies. I sat up straight, looked in the hymnal, and did my best to sing along in broken childish melody.

 

We sang hymns in rotation, according to the church calendar. But there were a few songs we sung every week, as part of the liturgy.

 

One in particular comes to mind,

 

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from Thy Presence
And take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation
And uphold me with Thy free spirit.”

 

At the time, I didn’t realize these were the words of Psalm 51:10-12. I knew them only as the lyrics to the refrain we sang in the middle of the service every Sunday.

 

When I read Psalm 51 now, I can’t help but hum the tune when I get to verse 10. And I have a difficult time reading a translation that does not use the same words that I know. These words are imbedded deep, woven through the fabric of memories and faith.

 

This song has been stuck in my head for over a week.

 

And though it has been annoying, it has also been powerful. I have thought of these words upon getting out of bed, playing with my kids, and cleaning up the kitchen. I have remembered them while driving my car, going to work, and talking with a friend. And as I have repeated these words over and over and over again, I have realized anew the profound truth they reveal about repentance.

 

Repentance is not just about asking for forgiveness.

 

Repentance is about being recreated.

 

We tend to think of repentance like a check out lane at the grocery store. We unload our cart of wrongdoings for God to inspect, we sheepishly pay what is owed by looking at Jesus and saying we’re sorry, and then go on our happy way.

 

But in that visual of forgiveness, what is to keep us from bringing the same things through the line over and over again? What difference is it really making?

 

When we repent, we acknowledge sin on a deeper level. We bow before God, spilling our wrongs before Him as we place face and arms to the ground. He holds our empty hands and places them to our chests, working with us to pry our hearts free. In repentance, we allow God to hold our hearts, and mold them beat in the rhythm of His ways.

 

I tried to do practice repentance this morning. To both ask forgiveness and ask for change. The words stuck in my throat as I attempted to utter them aloud.

 

Lord, I confess my selfishness. Create in me a heart that trusts you.
Lord, I confess my envy. Create in me a heart that celebrates others.
Lord, I confess my pride. Create in me a heart that is humble.

 

As the words stumbled from my lips, I realized that these kind of prayers  should be my regular practice.

 

Repentance prayers demonstrate a deep level of faith. Faith in a God that loves us in spite of our wrongs. Faith in a God that has the power to recreate our hearts.

 

I pray that God will create in me a new heart of faith.

 

(That was my reflection on Psalm 51. Up next week? Psalm 52.)




Being HERE is not the same as being HAPPY

 

april snowstormNo one likes a spring snow storm.

 

Even the most seasoned Minnesotans among us are upset about this week’s weather. Bundling kids in snowpants and boots and mittens to head to the bus stop on APRIL 10 is wrong. Just wrong. We are supposed to be wrapping ourselves in the smells of spring flowers not scarves and coats that have still not been put in storage.

 

This is what it means to live HERE.

 

Here is a place with summers full of amazing beauty and fun. But here is also a place with winters that sometimes linger beyond what we can bear.

 

Being here, living here, means accepting all of it.

 

We spend so much time trying to be happy. But being here is different than being happy.

 

Here is a mixed bag of joy and frustration. Here is family we’ve known forever and friendships just beginning. Here is seasons of transition and seasons of peace. Here is all of it.

 

Here is contentment.

 

Even when the weather makes me want to pack up and move, I won’t. Because here is worth it.

 

Five Minute FridayThis post is linking up with Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. A weekly prompt with strict instructions: write for 5 minutes and post. No over-editing. No do-overs. An practice of freedom. A way to let go of perfectionism. An exercise for some not often used writing muscles. Read more posts or link up over there. Today’s prompt was: HERE.

An Invitation to Join the Psalms Journey Community

 

walk through the psalmsI have made it through one third of my journey of writing through the Psalms. Hallelujah! 50 Psalms down, only 100 to go…

 

I want to start the next leg of the journey by moving towards some longings I have had for quite awhile.

 

I long to create a space that invites more people to engage with the Bible. To get past fears of interpreting wrong or not being scholarly enough, and begin to read, pray, and connect with its words.

 

I long to create a space that invites more people from a variety of backgrounds to read the same biblical text at the same time. To put aside our differences for a moment and find unity in our respect for God’s Word.

 

I long to create a space that invites more people to listen to each other and learn from each others’ perspective on a text. To see that words that felt dead to us felt alive to someone else. To see how we were viewing the text through our own lens in ways we might not have even realized.

 

The Psalms provide a perfect backdrop for this kind of space. Though their meaning can certainly be enhanced through language knowledge and historical context, they are also poems and prayers. I believe that opens them up for a different reflection and response.

 

Psalms Journey Button 250 px

So, I am forming a Psalms Journey community. Beginning next week, with Psalm 51. And this is your invitation to join.

 

If you are a reader, I invite you to join this community by reading the same Psalm as us each week.

 

Sometimes it will be inspirational, and sometimes it will be frustrating. But I believe that God works in our wrestling. I’d also like to invite you to read not only the words on my site, but the words written by other bloggers in the community.

 

If you are a blogger, I invite you to join this community by writing about the same Psalm as us each week. (Many thanks to Brenna, Jennifer, and RR who have already joined and are helping me launch!)

 

This is a big commitment, so I welcome you to come in and out of the series based on your availability. However, I also want to challenge you to try to stick with it. I have experienced so much depth in my own spiritual life based on the weekly discipline of this series, and I think that could happen for you as well.

 

I also invite you to guest post on the Psalms. So if a Psalm coming up has been particularly meaningful to you, please send a post my way! (email: everydayawe at gmail dot com)

 

(A few blogging details to know: 1. My post will go up midnight on Tuesday mornings. 2. The link up will be open all day Tuesday. 3. You can use the Twitter hashtag #PsalmsJourney 4. If you link up, please read the post of at least one other who links.)

 

It can be intimidating to think about how to write about the Bible. So, I’d like to give you a few practical ideas for types of posts you could write.

A Meditation

You could write a kind of public journal in response to a slow, meditative reading of the text, in the style of Lectio Divina.

Ingest the psalm by reading it several times. Reflect on the words and phrases. What sticks out to you? Why? Spend time in silence, yielded to the presence of God. Offer your insight back to God in prayerful and meditative writing.

A Reaction

You could write a reaction to how the Psalm made you feel. Some psalms are quite difficult or frustrating or confusing. Others are quite beautiful or artistic or despairing.

Read the Psalm and think about how it makes you feel about God or the Bible or life. Does it make you want to throw the Bible out your window? Does it make you drop to your knees in worship? Does it speak words into pain from your past? Dive into your feelings through the written word.

An Analysis

You could write an exegetical-style working out of the text through study.

Read the Psalm in a few different translations. Notice the differences in the wording. What might that tell you about the meaning?  Which words and phrases are repeated and which are used only once? What does that tell you about the emphasis? If possible, look into the original language. Are there any poetic movements that don’t come across strongly in English?

Read more about the history and context of the Psalm. Do we know when in Israel’s history it was written? What might we need to be careful of when thinking about how a meaning during that time crosses over to today’s time and culture?

Write about what you learned and what you can pull from that study into your life.

An Inspiration

You could write your own poem to God, inspired by the Psalm.

After reading the Psalm several times, use it as a launching point for your own prayer. Give yourself permission to express your feelings to God with raw and deep honesty. Paraphrase the Psalm with your own words or write something entirely new, spurred on by its themes.

 

The idea is that all posts are welcome. This is not about reaching some sort of standard. Or having the “correct” perspective on the biblical text.

 

This is about joining together as a community to rise up and declare the value and beauty and frustration and power of God’s Word.

 

So, what do you say? Want to join? Have questions? Let’s chat in the comments.

 

See you next week with Psalm 51. (And then, the week after with Psalm 52, then the week after that with Psalm 53…)

 

 A Few Recommended Resources:

For Study:

  • NET Bible: This site has tons of notes on language and translation, as well as free commentary notes by Dr. Constable.
  • Bible Gateway: This site has many translations available for comparison.
  • ESV Study Bible: This Bible is filled with historical background and other notes that aid in interpretation. It is a fantastic resource.

For Meditation:

  • Lectio Divina: This article gives a good overview of the ancient contemplative practice.
  • Soul Feast: This book provides an overview of contemplative spiritual practices with invitations to engage.

For An Overview of Psalms

  • Nancy Orterg’s Sermon: This video of a sermon gives a great birds-eye view of what is going on in the book of Psalms. It is especially helpful when it comes to Psalms of lament.

The Myth of Before and After

 

I think television sitcoms have ruined us.

 

We watch them and think that resolution is normal. That we should expect that people make up after fights. That overtime, people learn from their mistakes. That we grow and develop and mature.

 

We approach faith with this expectation for resolution. There are so many before and after stories of conversion. We were this way before Christ, but now we are different. Better.

 

We like to treat life like a math equation. Before Me + Faith = A Better Me. An After Me.

 

In reality, life is not linear. There is not so much an after, but a during.

 

Life is less like a math equation, and more like a painting. Each day, more layers of paint are added to us. Layers that effect how we reflect the light. Some layers that give us depth and richness. Some layers that will need to be painted over by the Artist at some point in the future.

 

unfinished masterpiecesWe are unfinished masterpieces. Beautiful and redeemed, but far from complete.

 

I think about this with the story of the prodigal son. We know he ran away. We know there was a party when he came back. But what about life after the party? Did he stay mistake free? Did he and his brother reconcile? Did he squander money and run away again? If so, what was the welcome like the next time?

 

There is so much we don’t know. But what we do know is this. The Father’s love for him never changed.

 

In the before, in the after, and in the during that makes up this long and layered life, the Father is never far from us. He never stops painting. He never stops revealing beauty in and through our lives. He never stops giving us His love.

 

Five Minute FridayThis post is linking up with Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. A weekly prompt with strict instructions: write for 5 minutes and post. No over-editing. No do-overs. An exercise in freedom. A way to let go of perfectionism. An exercise for some not often used writing muscles. Read more posts or link up over there. Today’s prompt was: After.

 

P.S. There is still time to enter the give away of the Life After Art book. A winner will be announced at 2 pm central time. Simply leave a comment on this post to enter!

Is there a God of the Old Testament?

 

Old Testament - New TestamentWe have this bad habit of creating a hard line of division between the Old and the New Testament.

 

I have even heard people (maybe even me at some points of my journey) talk about “the God of the Old Testament,” as if the birth of Jesus fundamentally changed the kind of God we worship. Though it is true the incarnation brought something new and incomprehensibly beautiful, and though it is true Jesus offers a depth of redemption during this life that was not available before, it is also true that our God is the same God He has always been.

 

God has been writing His deliverance story since sin first entered this world. The birth and life and death and resurrection of Jesus was not a new book, it was a new chapter. The New Testament is the climax of the book, to be sure. Over and over, the Old Testament points to His coming, and looks forward to the day the Messiah would come and save God’s people once and for all.

 

Jesus was the rescuer and bringer of restored relationship promised in Genesis 3. But that doesn’t mean relationship didn’t exist between Genesis 3 and Matthew 1.

 

Part of the misunderstanding comes with how we view the sacrificial system and the law. We look at the New Testament and see grace, and look at the Old Testament and see works. Sacrifices seem to be some sort of standard that the people had to meet in order to appease God’s wrath.

 

In reality, the law and sacrifices existed to turn the hearts of the people towards their loving God. They often misunderstood this, too, and over and over, He corrects them.

 

That kind of correction is the message of Psalm 50.

 

God reminds the people that He created the universe. He crafted plants and knit together animals in the first place. It’s not like He somehow needs the sacrifices of the people to feed a hunger He can’t satisfy on His own.

 

It is not about the action. It is about the heart behind the action.

 

Sacrifices were about attitude: repentance for wrongs, thankfulness for blessings, recognition that God was greater and He was the One with the power to save.

 

And they were also about relationship.

 

In the correction offered in Psalm 50, God highlights the importance one sacrifice in particular: the thank offering.

 

“Sacrifice thank offerings to God,
    fulfill your vows to the Most High,
and call on me in the day of trouble;
    I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”– Psalm 50:14-15

 

The sacrifice of thanksgiving was one type of peace offering. According to the ESV study Bible, peace offerings were “the only kind of sacrifice in which the worshiper ate some of the sacrificial animal; its primary function was to eat a meal, in company with the sacrificer’s family and the needy, with God as the host.”

 

God wants to have His people over for dinner. He wants to sit around the table and hear about their days. He wants to join people of different statuses around the same meal, the rich helping provide food for the poor, both helping provide friendship for one another.

 

God calls his people, rich and poor, priests and common folk, to join together in gratefulness, relationship, and worship. He also reminds them that if they call on Him when they need help, they can trust He will deliver them.

 

Doesn’t sound too different than how the church is described in the New Testament, does it?

 

These similarities do not downplay the importance of what Jesus did for us. But maybe they can help us see that God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is consistently good, consistently loving, and consistently focused on the posture of our hearts.

 

Have you ever struggled with the connection between the Old and New Testament? What connections do you see?

 

Today marks the 1/3 mark in my Psalm series! 50 Psalms down, only 100 more to go… It is exciting to reach this milestone. even though it is intimidating to see how much is left. Stay tuned for an announcement next week about how something new will be happening for the next part of the journey. I am excited to fill you in!

 

walk through the psalmsWalk through the Psalms is a series working its way through the book of Psalms, one Psalm a week, one post a week, in order. It is grounded in the belief that as Psalms swirl through prayers of pain and praise, they paint a portrait of a life of faith. And, as with any walk, it is better with company; all are welcome to join. To learn more, read this.

 



What a Compton hospital taught me about beauty

daffodilsWe arrived on a Saturday, with buckets full of fresh flowers.

 

Outside the building, we divided from containers into armloads, and walked through the doors in pairs. Immediately, I was overcome by how stark and bleak things felt on the inside, compared to the warm summer sun shining down on the outside. The hallways were bare, the walls aching for artwork. As we strolled from room to room, the emptiness inside made my heart ache.

 

I was among a group of college students, delivering flowers to patients at a hospital in Compton. You know, that poor and dangerous and news-making neighborhood of Los Angeles.

 

We went from room-to-room, dropping off bouquets, engaging in conversation, and praying for patients. The longer we were there, the more I was struck by the contrast between this hospital and the one I would find in my hometown in Wisconsin.

 

The rooms were empty.

 

No balloons. No flowers. No cards. Nothing.

 

The residents sat in white hospital beds covered in white sheets surrounded by white cement walls. It certainly looked like a place of medicine, but it did not look like a place of healing.

 

At the end of the day, I remember feeling dissatisfied that I wasn’t more successful at the conversations with patients. After all, I hadn’t converted anybody to follow Jesus. All I had done was delivered flowers and prayed.

 

As I look back on the experience, I am convinced that bringing flowers to those rooms was holy work.

 

The need for beauty is never so clear as the moment you are completely surrounded by its absence.

 

Those hospital rooms were filled with hopelessness, sickness, and loneliness. Though, on the surface, a little bouquet seems much less important than medicine, I wonder if it provides something essential for the healing process.

 

Hope.

 

The flowers were reminder that beauty was available in the life outside those walls, and it was worth fighting to get back out there.

 

I wonder if God had this in mind when He crafted flowers in the first place. If even in the beginning, God knew flowers’ beauty could one day change the feeling of an entire hospital. He is, after all, in the business of bringing life into dead places.

 

Right now, as I write, I am looking at a vase full of daffodils. They are my tangible reminder that spring is coming, even though the weather outside still brings the harsh sting of winter winds. Flower-induced smiles are not restrained to patients in hospital rooms of the inner city, they extend to suburban moms sitting at their kitchen tables.

 

Beauty does that. It lives and breathes of a hope beyond itself.

 

I wonder if I can spread beauty more often. I want to walk out of rooms like I did as a flower-bearing college student: leaving them better than I found them. I can do that. With my words and actions and creations, I can be a purveyor of beauty.

 

What if each of us made that our goal each day? To leave behind more beauty than what existed when we got up in the morning?

 

I want to see that world.

 

“Only you can make the conscious decision to use your life to create beauty. And only you can decide how you will create it.” – Matt Appling

 

Life after Art CoverThe book Life After Art, which released yesterday, inspired this post. I was given an advanced copy for review, and without compulsion I can tell you that I highly recommend it. Like me, I believe it will cause you to think about what you are creating with your life.

Want to read it? I am giving a copy away!

Simply leave a comment below giving one idea of how you can create some beauty with your life. I will announce the winner on Friday.

Broken and Whole

 

I crack the egg to make my breakfast.

 

As it sizzles in the pan, I look at the broken shell, thankful to the chicken who laid it so that I might have something good to eat.

 

There is life inside that egg. Nourishment for me.

 

But only if it is broke open.

 

As I use my bread to seep up the yoke still left on the plate, as I savor the last bites of my first meal, I think about the relationship between breaking and eating.

 

Nourishment often does not come easy. But it does come. It must come. Or we could not live.

 broken eggs

Christ’s broken body is not just symbolic. It is not just an act that lives in history.

 

It is our nourishment.

 

We eat his broken body in order for our souls to be fed. His sacrifice gives us something we could never have without it.

 

Life.

 

Life with God. A glorious eternal life when we die. A purposeful and abundant life as we live. A hopeful life when all else seems gone.

 

When we remember that death, that brokenness on our behalf, we are fed. We are nourished with the reminder that we are loved in indescribable ways.

 

Christ’s body was broken so that we could be whole.

 

Five Minute Friday This post is linking up with Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday. A weekly prompt with strict instructions: write for 5 minutes and post. No over-editing. No do-overs. An exercise in freedom. A way to let go of perfectionism. An exercise for some not often used writing muscles. Read more posts or link up over there.

What happens when we die?

 

I am going to die.

 

Not soon. At least I hope not. But, regardless of when, I can say with confidence that someday, I will die. And you will do.

 

Is it weird to read that? It’s difficult to write it. I am a product of a culture that tries to gloss over the harsh reality of death. We keep it behind the peaceful facades of funeral homes and underneath flowering daffodils of cemeteries. Death is kept away from the goings on of our regular life so that we only have to face it for a brief time when, inevitably, the pain and grief strikes close to home.

 

We prefer to live as if life will go on forever. If I’m honest with myself, that’s what I do most of the time. We keep ourselves entertained and medicated and wealthy and comfortable and busy so that we never have to face some of life’s most difficult questions.

 

Why am I here? What will happen when I die? What is the purpose of life?

 

These questions are not easy. They take wrestling and discomfort, which is why we prefer to ignore them. But if we don’t pause to face them, we may get to the end of our life filled with more regret than rejoicing.

 

On the surface, the message of Psalm 49 seems morbid. Basically, it is this: don’t be jealous of those who are wealthy. Everyone dies.

 

Do not be overawed when others grow rich,
    when the splendor of their houses increases;
for they will take nothing with them when they die,
    their splendor will not descend with them. – Psalm 49:16-17

 

Though it may seem fatalistic, I think this Psalm forces us towards those meaning-of-life questions. What things do I get jealous about? And in the end, do they really matter?

 

I get jealous of material wealth and distracted by temporary pleasures more often than I would like to admit. But, at the core, I know the answers that have spoken peace to my soul.

 

It is appropriate that the reflection on this Psalm falls during Holy Week. My answers have come through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

I believe that each of us were created. Whether that creation occurred through 6-day creationism or theistic evolution or anywhere in the spectrum between those theories, is in some ways, irrelevant to the bigger point. I believe there is a Creator God who fashioned this earth and knit us together in our mother’s wombs. I believe He did so because of the immense and immeasurable love that is core to His being, a love He desired to share.

 

I believe that, being motivated by love, this all-powerful Creator God gave us the ability to chose whether to love Him in return. And that though this introduced the possibility of sin, the risk was worth it. Without choice, there would have been no possibility of the pure exchange of love.

 

I believe that humans, since the beginning of time, have been choosing poorly. We have failed to trust in the Love that created us, and sought meaning and purpose in all sorts of other places. And these sins have been like a poison that has seeped into the functioning of the entire earth. There are not just individual wrongs, there are systemic sins that have brought unimaginable hurt and pain to God’s beloved creations.

 

I believe that a loving God could not sit idly by while His world and His loves descended into chaos and darkness. So, He sent a rescuer: His Son. And when His Son came, we rejected Him. We thought surely God does not look like a Man who heals the sick, shares food with the poor, and eats dinner with the prostitutes. And so we hung Jesus on a cross as punishment for His blasphemy.

 

thecrossI believe what humans intended for evil, God intended for good. All of our mistakes left us with debt that we could not afford to pay, and Jesus’ death covered it all. The consequence could not simply be forgiven: it had to be undone. Jesus’ sacrificial act of love became the fertile ground in which a new creation could begin.

 

I believe Jesus rose from the dead, victorious over death and evil. He proved that we could trust all He said to be true: He really was God and He really did have the power to save us. That through faith in Jesus, we are forgiven. we can be saved not only from death, but from the aimless wandering of life. Through Jesus, we are a new creation with purpose and hope, called to share His love with the world.

 

This is the Gospel. I believe it is true. And I believe it changes everything.

 

One of my favorite songs at this time of year is “Christ is Risen” by Matt Maher. I love this video depiction of it. Maybe watch and listen and take some time to reflect on the Gospel today?

 

 

Let’s chat in the comments. Do you avoid thinking about death? How have you wrestled with these questions?

 

walk through the psalmsWalk through the Psalms is a series working its way through the book of Psalms, one Psalm a week, one post a week, in order. It is grounded in the belief that as Psalms swirl through prayers of pain and praise, they paint a portrait of a life of faith. And, as with any walk, it is better with company; all are welcome to join. To learn more, read this.



The Broken Crayon and the Completed Work of Art

I wander around the art museum, trying to find my way. I was told there is a gift there for me.

 

When I finally arrive at the place I was told to go, I am stunned. The beauty that is before me is too much. I cannot move. It is a masterpiece beyond description.

 

It can’t be true. Is it really a gift for me? There must be some mistake. It’s too heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I cannot comprehend this exists at all, much less accept this as a gift.

 

I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do.

 

Then, I look down and remember. That piece of broken crayon in my hand. The one I grabbed in anger after my son scribbled on the wall. It is still wrapped up in my fingers. I was on my way to throw it out when I somehow ended up here.

 

I begin to scribble on the painting.

 

At first, just a little bit, on the bottom corner. Something in me feels like I must do something, and it’s the only thing I can think to do. As if somehow adding to the work of the artist will make me more deserving of the gift.

 

But as I move my hand back and forth and back and forth, I notice that it doesn’t help. I grow more unsettled with each movement. My strokes grow wider and more furious as the sense of unworthiness and frustration grows within me. With each glide across the canvas, I feel more wretched than the last.

 

Until suddenly, there is a noise in the other room. I look away. And when I look back to the masterpiece again, I realize what I have done.

 

And I crumple to the ground in utter despair.

 

What was I thinking? Why did I think trying to add to this great work would somehow make me more deserving of it?

 

It is not better. It is worse. So much worse. What have I done?

 

I take off my scarf. Maybe I can use it to wipe away my mistake. I scour as hard as I can. But the more I scrub, the worse the mess seems to get.

 

I look around. Has anyone noticed? Does anyone know what a mess I have made? I wring my hands and go back to scrubbing, not sure what else to do.

 

Why did I do this? Why? Oh, if I could take it back! I’d give anything to take it back. How do I make up for this now?

 

My only instinct is to try harder. I wipe at the painting with the tears that have begun to stream down my cheeks, hoping the water will help.

 

It doesn’t. Nothing seems to help.

 

I hear footsteps behind me and my heart sinks to the floor. I turn around to look. It is the artist. I try to hide, but he is walking right towards me, with an outstretched hand.

 

He pries open my palm and the crayon tumbles to the ground.

My love, this masterpiece is finished. It is my work, not yours. You do not need to add to it. It is complete. And it is a gift. You need only come. You need only receive.

 

He reaches over to my other arm and takes away my scarf.

My love, your own scrubbing cannot get this clean. Trying to cover it up your marks does no good. I am the artist. It is accomplished only through me.

 

He puts his hand on the painting, and through my tears, I see the crayon dissolve.

 

The artist looks back at me, and I see that I was not alone in my weeping. He grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.

My love, when I said this was a gift for you, I meant it. It is forged from the beauty and pain of a perfect love. There is nothing you can do to add to it. I am the one who finished it. And I completed this masterpiece for you. Take it home with you now. And know that you are worthy to have it because my love declares it so.

 

It is finished.

broken crayon 

To be honest, this allegorical story was a little out of my writing comfort zone. But I couldn’t find any other words to describe the gravity and love and importance of John 19:30, when, as Jesus died, He declared, “It is finished!” I have often not believed those three little words, and attempted to add to Jesus’ work on the cross. It always ends in a mess.

 

Jesus Said Lent Series ButtonA series to honor the Lenten season by reflecting on various teachings of Christ. Let’s think about who He was and what He came to do by talking about the words that came straight from His mouth.